Yay, I did it! I actually started my project like a big girl. I decided that it would be easiest to focus on household organization for the month of July. That’s usually my #1 most frustrating thing – I’ve grown to really dislike clutter and I get aggravated when things are out of place. I know for a fact it’s Mommy Instinct (yes, it’s capitalized, because it is a Thing) because clutter never used to bother me that much. I always wanted my place to be clean, but never exactly organized. Not anymore.
Pinterest has lots of great ideas and tutorials for getting your place to be as organized as possible. One pin that struck me was called “40 Bags in 40 Days“, in which the pinner got rid of a bag of junk every day for over a month. I am doing a modified version of that and committing to 10 bags in 10 days. Today, I focused on my nightstand.
You might not think that something as small as a nightstand would hold a bag’s worth of junk. You would think wrong. My nightstand ended up being additional storage in the move (which, if you recall, was pretty hit-the-ground-running, so we were stuffing belongings into anything that would hold them). Which means it looked like this:
I know. It’s awful. I seriously don’t know why half of those things were in there. I found a bag that goes around a bottle of Crown Royal and a plastic cucumber that was apparently a cast gift from one of the productions of As You Like It that Adam was in. Why was plastic vegetation given as a gift? I don’t know. I’m sure it made sense in context, but I had no context, so I just put the plastic cucumber on Adam’s nightstand, realizing the weirdness of placing a fake, green, phallic vegetable where everyone could potentially see it and do a double-take. And then I started plotting many, many practical jokes. Bwahaha.
Anyway, I cleared out most of what was in the drawer, did some re-arranging, designated some junk, and put a few things back where they actually belonged. The end result?
Yaaaaay, it’s a big-girl drawer! I’ve got my girly stuff like lotions, tea lights, and a lavender infuser oil burner thingy that I got for Christmas and forgot about (sorry and also thanks, Lindsey, I promise I’ll use it now that it has been re-found!), as well as our Comcast information because I haven’t figured out a safer place for it just yet.
I’m feeling really good about this. It took all of five minutes and I significantly de-cluttered a problem area of my home. Now I have a lot more space in that drawer if I need, several unnecessary items are gone for good, and I, you know, followed through on something I said I would do. I’ll be accepting my medal any time now.
Tomorrow: the Great Decluttering continues when I tackle…THE BATHROOMS!!! Dun dun dunnnnnn.
And now for something completely different…
I had what I can only describe as a relapse in my depression and anxiety last night. I was up until 3:00 cleaning the apartment and doing some meal and grocery planning, but I was sobbing the entire time. Hence why it took me until 3:00 AM. I’ve been feeling those emotions threatening to bubble to the surface for a while now, but I figured it was just normal motherhood-related stuff, not PPA/PPD.
Now I’m almost ready to admit defeat and that I’m not able to deal with this entirely on my own. I’m going to give it just a little more time – in case it really was just a particularly bad day, which happens – and then I’m going to start looking into talking to my doctor. As hesitant as I am about the notion of being unable to cope on my own, naturally, I also know that I can’t keep doing this. It’s affecting every aspect of my life and I can’t let that continue much longer. So I’m hoping to get a grip on myself (and, TMI alert, but I’m also sort of hoping that it’s at least partially PMS-related, because my body has decided to freak out once a month now…which wasn’t so much the case pre-baby. Thanks, hormones!), but I’m also willing to go to a professional if that doesn’t work.