Category Archives: Parenting

Seven ridiculously easy “toys”/games to entertain a toddler

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I say “toys” because they are, of course, NOT toys. I’ve learned that my son really isn’t entertained by his actual toys for long…but give him a colander and he’s occupied for hours. Since we’ve been packing up and decluttering for the move, most of our stuff has been in a constant state of “strewn about” for the past week or so. This means that we’ve had to be a bit creative when it comes to play time! Here are a few simple games and MacGyvered toys to entertain your little one:

1. Laundry basket fabric pull
Laundry baskets are a baby’s best friend. They can be boats to ride in, walkers to push around, and endless sources of entertainment. I took one of our laundry baskets and threaded lots of different pieces of fabric through the holes in the side – scarves, scraps napkins, etc. – for Ethan to pull out and play with. This kept Ethan occupied for a good thirty minutes one day!

2. Paper circle spiral
While Ethan was napping the other day, I was cleaning out our closet and came across a bunch of paper circles about the side of my palm. I have absolutely no clue where they came from or why I had them, but they gave me the idea for a game! I used a small piece of double-sided tape on each one and created a spiral on the carpet. When Ethan woke up, I set him free to explore them as he wished. He had a great time pulling them up and trying to press them back down.

3. “Is this a hat?”
I’m not sure what exactly is so hilarious about putting something on your head that isn’t a hat, but my son can’t get enough of this game. All I do is grab several objects and a few hats, then take turns putting them on my head and/or Ethan’s head. I ask “is this a hat?” each time and try to encourage Ethan to nod or shake his head to answer (it doesn’t usually work, but we’ve had a couple of successful rounds). Even if he doesn’t respond, he laughs his head off while we play.

4. Pots and pans orchestra
I know, I know, this isn’t terribly original. Find me anyone who didn’t bang on pots and pans as a kid! But there is something to be said for this classic form of entertainment. It’s loud and crazy, but kids just love it. If you have pots of many different sizes, kids can also use them to practice stacking and nesting. I will sometimes stretch rubber bands across a small pot to create a child-sized banjo, too – much quieter and lots of fun!

5. Splish splash!
We don’t have one of those fancy water tables or access to a pool right now, so we do it cheapskate style. Lay down some towels or head outside with some bowls of water and a few bath toys and let the fun begin! A couple of new, clean sponges make great sensory toys, too. Just be prepared to get soaked!

6. Throwing stuff at a sheet
I couldn’t come up with anything cleverer to name this activity, because that’s literally all it is. Hang up a sheet and throw stuff at it! It’s   a great way to vent some of that toddler energy, plus the sheet will act like a sort of goal and cut down on how much you’ll have to chase around the things being thrown! Your best bet is to do this outside, using a clothesline (or something similar) and weights to keep the sheet taut. If you do it inside like we did, you can try using chairs to hold up the sheet!

7. Egg carton ball holder
Ethan has a bunch of plastic balls that he loves to play with, and they happen to fit perfectly into an egg carton! It’s a fun game for him to place the balls in the little spots for the eggs. Plus, the carton is a great place to store the balls while they aren’t being used!

 I’ve had good results with ether.

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Mother’s Day 2.0

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I can’t believe I’m already celebrating my second Mother’s Day. The year has been an incredible roller coaster in just about every way. We’ve dealt with loss, money troubles, anxiety attacks, job stress, the flu, cars breaking down, and all the generally terrifying things that come with parenting…but we’ve also gotten to experience the joys of growing stronger as a family, the triumph of managing to get through the toughest of times, and the fun of seeing Ethan grow into the sweet toddler he is today.

It has been a tough one, but I know this year has also taught us so much. I look at where I was mentally and emotionally a year ago and where I am now, and while it pains me a bit to think of how bad my anxiety and depression got, I am truly proud of myself for getting through it and for being able to truly enjoy motherhood without PPD holding me back.

My sweet boy gave me a kiss this morning and rubbed noses with me when I told him how much I love him. If only he knew just how much it meant to me. Thank you, Ethan, for making me a mother. We really hit the jackpot there.

Babywearing

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Ethan has never been one to be worn. He let me put him in the Moby a few times when he was a newborn, but after that? No dice. We borrowed several carriers to try, but none seemed to do the trick. I was sure Ethan was placed properly and we tried different holds, but we just didn’t have any luck. I’m still not quite sure why he hated it so much. I really wanted it to work – I wanted that closeness and convenience so badly!

I finally decided to give it one more try. I visited a great local store, Franklin Goose, to try out a carrier or two. I was thrilled when we struck gold – the Boba was the winner! I used the back carry around the store for a while and laughed as Ethan giggled and squealed with delight, then snuggled into my back to rest. It was heavenly. I bought one on the spot.

I have a very short torso and a back that is in desperate need of a chiropractor, so to be able to carry Ethan with minimal effort and almost no pain is wonderful. I have never minded having him in my arms and on my hip, but he’s almost 22 pounds now. And very wiggly. And really into doing sudden backbends with absolutely no warning. What’s more, on particularly cuddly days, it always meant I had a hard time accomplishing much else. I cherished the snuggles, but always wished for free hands. Now, using the carrier, I might be able to have both.

We gave the Boba a test run today, using a front carry, and it was a great success! I carried Ethan for over an hour very comfortably, then let Adam give it a try. Ethan loved getting snuggles from his daddy like that, and Adam was so glad not to have tired arms. Ethan even took a nap while Adam walked around and ate lunch! It was wonderful not to have to deal with the stroller, too. Ethan loves being in his stroller – he sings and swings his feet whenever he gets a ride – but having one less clunky thing to deal with every time we go out will be such a relief.

I’m so glad we didn’t completely give up on wearing Ethan. Even though he’s 13 months now, and that may be considered a bit late to start, it’s still going to make a huge difference from now on!

A day in the life: the toddler edition

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I have a toddler. A legitimate toddler. He’s over a year old and he runs. That means I have to be a bit creative with my usual schedule.

HA!

I’m sorry, I just burst out laughing at the idea of having a “usual” schedule. Because, let’s be real, if you’re a parent staying at home with a toddler, your idea of “usual” is pretty flexible.

To be fair to my son, he’s a really easy kid to take care of. I’m aware of that and extremely thankful for it, and I’m knocking wood right now in hope that I’m not jinxing myself by openly recognizing my good fortune. But even so, the easiest toddler in the world is still a toddler. It’s only ever going to be so easy!

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The longest and shortest year

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I’ve been really lax about posting here lately! I got busy out of nowhere, then caught the plague, then Ethan turned one.

Yup. He’s one. I officially have a one-year-old. When the hell did that happen? That saying about kids giving you “long days and short years” is definitely true.

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Ethan is a wonderful little boy. Obviously, I’m a bit biased, but he really is a doll. He has been walking (and, occasionally, running, which is terrifying to behold), copying some signs, repeating sounds, and figuring out how to play with toys without any tutorial. That last one is pretty impressive to me. For example, he has a little toy train that came with blocks and that has a little seat so he can ride on it. I never showed him how to put the blocks into the chute or how to sit on the train (I worried his little fingers might get stuck in the chute and that he’d fall off of the seat). Adam says he never showed him, either. However, one day, lo and behold, he was expertly putting blocks into the chute and swinging his leg over the train like he was mounting a mighty steed. Go figure. I don’t know if that’s just how babies operate or what, but even if that’s pretty typical, it still impresses me. I can’t figure out some of his toys, and he just toddles up and takes over like a champ!

The best thing about Ethan, though, is how affectionate and happy he is. He is almost always in a great mood and he’s very friendly to everyone he sees. People go out of their way to come and talk to him, which he just loves. It has taken a lot of getting used to, and sometimes it still throws me off when a stranger comes up to us at the grocery store for a chat with my son, but it’s really lovely. Having people be so kind to me and to Ethan when they don’t even know us just shows me how much good there is to be found in people.

We had Ethan’s first birthday party on Saturday, which was a great success. We had a Hulk theme and it was all very laid back and fun.

I still find it hard to believe that I have been a parent for an entire year now. It has been an interesting time. The highs and lows were extreme for a long time, and I had plenty of days when I thought I was just not cut out for motherhood. There were times when I wondered if Ethan would be better off without me. Looking back, it breaks my heart to remember that I ever felt that way. Things are so much better now, and my anxiety and depression have improved dramatically in the past four months or so. My bond with Ethan has never been stronger, and I look forward to our time together every day. Anyone out there who is struggling with PPD – or just parenthood in general – please know that things can always get better. Find a way to help yourself and don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t have things 100% together. No one does. As always, I’m happy to be a sounding board if anyone ever wants to talk. And if you don’t want to talk, know that I’m still supporting you, wherever you are.

Thank you to everyone who has been a part of our lives and given us so much love and support this year! I am grateful for the journey up to this point and I look forward to the years to come.

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My tips for staying at home

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Now that I have been doing this semi-SAHM thing for almost a year, I thought I’d toss out a few tips to help others who are making the transition to being a stay-at-home parent (or who are already staying home but need a little advice to make it easier). These are things I wish I had figured out from day one!

Create snack stations
When I first came home with Ethan, I was still sore from my C-section and Ethan preferred to nap on me instead of on his own. This meant that it was a little tricky to get up and prepare a meal or even a snack for myself when I wanted one! My solution to this was to find several spots throughout the apartment (my nightstand, the coffee table, and the dining table) to make designated “snack stations”. I’d place a bottle of water and a healthy snack at each spot, just in case I found myself anchored by a peacefully snoozing baby or simply too tired/lazy to get up when hunger struck.

Adjust your sleep schedule now
If, like me, you were a night owl before becoming a parent, start doing your best to adjust your schedule. Wake up earlier, force yourself to go to bed earlier, and (if possible), grab a catnap during the day. Though you won’t always be able to sleep when the baby sleeps, chances are a 20-minute nap won’t be out of the question here and there, and it’s a good way to stay refreshed and alert. Getting used to your new sleep schedule in advance will help reduce exhaustion and schedule shock – if only just a little.

Pound the pavement
Research what sort of activities are within walking distance, if you live in a walking-friendly area. Getting out of the house as often as possible can help stave off that feeling of being cooped up, which was definitely a contributing factor to my depression early on. Once I started trying to get outside for a walk at least a few times a week, even if it was just for a walk around the corner to grab a bagel, my stress lessened considerably. Getting that extra fresh air also helped Ethan a lot, it seems – I don’t know for sure if the two are connected, so don’t quote me on this, but his sleep improved within a week of us beginning our daily walks for fun. It could be a coincidence, but even if fresh air and sleep aren’t directly connected, it sure couldn’t hurt!

Try a new activity every day
Staying at home can be boring. Sure, you’re busy running around after the baby and trying to keep up with the house and still maintain some sanity/a social life/a connection to the outside world, but there are still times when it can be a dull lifestyle. To keep things fresh, try doing something new every day. It doesn’t have to be a big Pinterestable thing – even just reading a new story, visiting a new location, or setting up an obstacle course made of pillows can wake up your routine.

Pack the diaper bag every night
Before you go to bed, pack the diaper bag. It took me ages to remember to work this into my routine, for some reason, but once I did, I was so glad. Having a bag that is always packed and ready to go makes life a lot easier. It means that if you have to rush out of the house at 3:00 AM for some reason, you’ll have whatever the baby needs without having to think about it. It eliminates an excuse to not leave the house. And, best of all, it’s one less task to do during that blessed thing known as “nap time”, meaning you’ll have an extra five minutes to do as you please.

Allow yourself to be imperfect
I put ridiculous amounts of pressure on myself, so I know this one is easier said than done. Any life change is going to take a lot of trial and error and a lot of adjustment. Becoming a stay-at-home parent will probably be very different than you expect – it may be far more difficult or it may not feel challenging enough. There will absolutely be days when you want to tear your hair out and run for the hills, there will be days when you’ll want to cry for absolutely no reason, and there will be days when you’ll wonder if this isn’t the lifestyle for you. And that’s fine. You’re probably not going to love every second of every day. Even the best days can be exhausting. Try your best to appreciate the good times and remember them when you feel like you’re drowning. Don’t expect to become an expert on parenting overnight. Don’t feel like a failure just because you didn’t complete your to-do list. Perfection is not required. Again, I beat myself up over this stuff all the time, so I know I need to be better at practicing what I preach. I’m trying. But I want other parents out there to know that just because you might find yourself wondering if you’ve made a mistake by staying home or feeling overwhelmed by it all, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It means you’re a human being, plain and simple.

I think that parents who choose to stay at home often feel pressured to paint a “my life is perfect and made of rainbows” picture to everyone else. We don’t want people to think that we sometimes have doubts or that we have messed up, because we don’t want to be judged. Parents judge and are judged constantly. It sucks, but it’s just human nature – we may not mean or even want to judge, but we do. So believe me, I understand that fear of someone thinking you’re a bad parent. You’re not required to air your dirty laundry or fess up to every mistake, but you also shouldn’t feel like you have to make it seem like every day is a dream come true. How often do we hear people complain about their jobs, even though they generally enjoy it and feel lucky to have it? Even someone working their dream job will have rough days. If they’re allowed to gripe a little, so are you. If you need help, you can (and should) ask for it. Find someone – your partner, a friend, an online forum, etc. – to vent to and ask advice when you need it. Not being perfect does not equal failure. Say that to yourself when you’re having one of those days, breathe, reach out, and give yourself a break.

I am completely serious when I say this: if you are a SAHP and you need someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to me. I may not have a magic answer for whatever you’re struggling with, but I’m more than happy to listen and offer a sympathetic ear.

Random thoughts at 5:00 AM

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-My child is almost one. I can’t even comprehend that. I bought some ingredients for cake yesterday so that I can test it out for his party…which is in three weeks. How did that even happen?

-I should have had more water before bed. My dad is sleeping in the living room and I’m trying to figure out if I have the ninja skills to get to the kitchen without waking him. Since this is me we’re talking about, I’m going to save myself the potential bruises and humiliation and say no.

-Mainlining Doctor Who makes for a really fun night, but it has invaded my head and now I am afraid of very silly things.

-No one is active in my Facebook groups. Many, many people are active on my Pinterest feed. I guess everyone else had the same idea.

-Speaking of Pinterest, this just happened to me while I was browsing: http://pinterest.com/pin/279997301805105522/ Poor Adam. I almost woke him by snortlaughing.

-Why can’t I be this awake and alert at 9:00 AM?

-Someone on my newsfeed just spelled “meow” as “meaw”. I’d call it a typo, but they did it a few other times, which I learned after a quick stalk. Is that a thing? That’s not really a thing, is it? It has to just be someone having no idea how the sound a cat makes is spelled, right? Otherwise I feel like a very tiny portion of my life has been a lie, and that’s just not an acceptable thought at this hour of the morning.

The semi-scheduled semi-SAHM

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Now that Adam has been working a new job, with more traditional hours, we have fallen into a new pattern. It’s reliable, it rarely changes, and is completely, utterly weird to me. After years of Adam working from dinnertime until 2:00 AM or working from 10:00 AM until 8:00 PM or other such odd hours. Now, he leaves for work at 8:30 AM and gets home around 6:00 PM. It’s fantastic. I can actually make dinner and know that there will be someone else home to eat it. Right when it comes off of the stove. With me. I don’t have to play the “keep the food warm without drying it out because he’s not being released on time yet again” game. We get several hours a night together after Ethan goes to bed and we can still go to sleep at a reasonable hour. It’s a marvelous thing.

I’m still not used to it, though. It’s a foreign concept to me, having a “normal” schedule. Adam gives Ethan his breakfast, then I get up and take over so he can get ready for work. Then he goes to work, I do the SAHM thing, and he comes home. He usually puts Ethan to bed. We have dinner, we hang out, we go to sleep. It sounds boring – and I’m not going to pretend like my life’s a thrill ride by saying this – but it’s not. It’s reliable. And it’s a relief. Since we spent several years just scrambling to have a semi-normal routine, it just feels so good to stop all the rushing around for a while and just enjoy each other and the simple things. I had time last night to bake brownies and make a pot of tea after dinner, then watch several episodes of Girls with Adam…and we still went to bed before midnight. It used to be rare that we could do that when he was at his old job. More often than not, we missed each other entirely and had to have rushed, ten-minute chats first thing in the morning and maybe a few texts back and forth throughout the day.

That’s why I have been neglecting this blog for a while – I’ve been thoroughly enjoying having this sort of time with my family. I’ve been reading more, writing more, and trying to learn how to crochet (so far, I suck, but hopefully that’s only temporary). Now that Ethan is walking, he keeps me very busy throughout the day, and I have been trying to go out of the house and explore as much as possible. His curiosity is boundless. It’s remarkable to see him suddenly go from being a little baby to being this miniature person with his personality blossoming. I didn’t realize how much happens so quickly with kids – one night they’re crawling, by morning they’re running, by that afternoon they’ve learned a new skill…it’s hard to keep up. But it really is wonderful, and I’m so grateful that we all have the time to be together and witness it.

New Year’s resolutions

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It’s a bit late to make these since it’s already 2013 and all that, but I wasn’t sure what resolutions I wanted to set for myself. It was a tough call. Every year, I set a weight loss goal for myself and every year, I fail to reach it (or I reach it and backslide due to illness/injury/pregnancy, in 2011′s case). Any time I set a writing goal for myself, I end up getting sidetracked because I have too many ideas and not enough fleshing out to go around. I’m not going to set an acting goal for myself simply because my schedule is too unpredictable for me to realistically expect to do much of anything until the job situation is figured out.

So for this year, I plan to be a bit more vague about my goals. I don’t want to set anything too specific (except for my reading goal); rather, I’d like to make this year about gradual improvement. Instead of saying “I will be in three plays, write two, and lose 20 pounds”, I want to make my goals about general wellness and cultivating my hobbies. So, for 2013, here are my resolutions:

-Get as close to my pre-pregnancy weight of 120 lbs as possible. Ideally, I’d like to be within an five-pound range of that, which is where I feel most comfortable. This means I need to lose about fifteen pounds over the course of the year. If I don’t reach that ideal number, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. After having a baby, your body changes, often in permanent ways. I’d prefer to roll with the punches than obsess. I’d also like to make sure I’m walking at least a mile a day and running at least three miles a week. I know that’s not much, but it’s a realistic goal for me and it’s more than I have been doing!

-Read at least 25 books. For someone who used to read at least a book a week, not reading much has been strange for me. I want to get back into the world of books. I was blessed with a son who adores his books, and I want to set a good example for him as he grows. Being a good reader is the one thing that I could always rely on helping me through school (and through life in general), and I want to encourage Ethan to love reading. So if anyone has some must-read books on their list, please let me know!

-Act, write, or produce a play this year. Even if it’s just a one-night staged reading, I want to be a part of something involving theatre. If that isn’t possible, I will try to attend at least three plays this year to keep from rusting too much.

-Rebuild our savings account. It is utterly wiped out from all of our unexpected expenses before Ethan and then pregnancy/hospital bills/parenting. I’m not setting a specific numeric goal for this, but I just want there to be something in there and for us to stop having to dip into it every month.

-Start painting again. I’m not fantastic at it or anything, but I love to paint and I haven’t picked up a brush (or smeared paint on a canvas by hand) in years. It’s high time. I’d also like to start sewing again and, if possible, learn sewing by machine so I can make some new clothes and patch/tailor some older ones.

-Grow and strengthen as a wife, mother, and person. I know, I know, that’s so vague and mommyblogger of me to say…but it’s something I’d like to be more conscious of. I don’t want to settle, I want to continue to push myself and improve every day. Whether that means trying harder at running the house or easing up on the pressure I put on myself, I want to strive toward finding that happy balance and truly enjoying this time, as well as nurturing my own self.

There and back again

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Holy holidays, Batman. I’m exhausted.

We had the privilege of spending the holidays with my mom and then down in Florida with Adam’s family, which was a blast. The drive down was easy, if a bit long (roughly 12-13 hours with all our stops), and Ethan handled it beautifully. We tried driving overnight on Christmas so that we wouldn’t mess with Ethan’s schedule too much, which worked pretty well. He woke up a few times, but overall he stayed right around his normal waking time. He also got to experience his first Cracker Barrel biscuit, which is always a treat.

florida2012 013We got to visit Islands of Adventure, which means I was hands-flappingly excited about seeing Hogwarts. No, seriously. I thought my in-laws were going to disown me if I didn’t calm down. Ethan really seemed to enjoy the parks – he’s at the age where even though he can’t really go on rides (save carousels and trains and the like), he loves looking at the spectacle. The Dr. Seuss section of the park was perfect for him – lots of crazy music and zany Seuss-y stuff to look at. I was impressed with how well Ethan handled the parks in general – they can be so unpredictable and loud that I was concerned about whether he would be able to nap. I didn’t take into account the fact that the constant buzz is easy to get used to, so he had a particularly excitable live-action white noise machine at his disposal.

I turned 25 while we were there, and my siblings-in-law threw me a little party! It was the sweetest thing. They completely surprised me! There were gifts (a necklace with my name on it – a rare find – the DVD of Benny & Joon which I have never seen before, and Hufflepuff souvenirs!), red velvet cupcakes, and pink champagne with crazy straws in it. I was so touched! That night, we went to my sister-in-law’s rehearsal dinner. Margaret is Adam’s second-oldest sibling and is such a sweetheart. I wish we got to see her and her husband more often. The rehearsal dinner was great, with an abundance of Greek food and our first chance to introduce Ethan to his paternal great-grandparents! 

On the day of the wedding, I got to give a short reading by Remy Charlip and dance the night away with my little member of the Rat Pack:

florida2012 061The wedding was absolutely lovely. Margaret and Scott hired an Irish band and served an abundance of the best barbecue I have ever had. Hands down. Sorry, Uncle Don, but you’ve got serious competition (so I think you should make me some of yours. You know, so I can compare and double-check). I wish I had taken more pictures at the wedding, but I was so busy cramming as many miniature bananas foster boats into my mouth as I could that I sort of forgot about the camera. Ethan stayed up the entire time, only conking out near the tail end of the celebrations – we danced him out!

We visited Sea World the next day, which was a really great experience. I had wanted to go there ever since I was a little girl, so I was having the time of my life. By the way, Manta is an amazing roller coaster – a bit terrifying and disorienting, but the concept of the ride is just so clever. The real standout at Sea World is, obviously, the shows - I SAW SHAMU, Y’ALL. My childhood came rushing back to me and, yes, I cried like the sap I am. The Shamu show itself is quite hippie-dippie-kumbaya-we-are-the-world, but I lap that stuff up.

florida2012 134New Year’s Eve was low-key. So low-key that I didn’t actually make it to midnight. I’m such a mom. We played Apples to Apples, had a bit of champagne, and called it a night! We decided not to drive overnight again, so we just left first thing in the morning. The drive home was uneventful and it was so good to get home. It worked wonders for our morale to get a break from everything and just relax in a new environment, but we were happy to get back and sleep in our own bed again.

Now that we’re home again, we have to get back to business: the business of finding Adam (and possibly me) a new job. It should be a combination of interesting and utterly terrifying. Fortunately, we have Tiny Hulk Baby to see us through.

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