Monthly Archives: May 2012

I put olives in my chili tonight.

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And it was a good decision.

I found a recipe called “Belly Burner Chili” that intrigued me. While I tweaked the recipe a bit (just one pound of sausage and about a pound of potatoes, one can of tomato sauce, a little bit of diced fresh tomato, and I left the soy sauce out entirely), the end result is absolutely delicious. I know olives are kind of a polarizing foodstuff, so I’m sure a lot of people will be turning up their noses at the very idea of putting green and black (I used kalamata) olives in chili, but it’s actually really great. The olives don’t taste so olive-y along with all the other flavors and it creates a nice saltiness to go along with the spice and savoriness of the rest of the dish. I’m happy.

The thing that’s great about chili is that it can be a very healthy food, plus it’s cheap and very easy to make. We’ve been making chili almost every week since Ethan was born and I have never been happier to own a crock pot. It’s nice to just toss some ingredients into the slow cooker and just ignore it for eight hours or so. Insurance should cover them for new parents – we’d all be eating a lot better if that were the case!

Wow. This is riveting stuff, isn’t it? I think you can tell it has been an otherwise uneventful day. I didn’t actually accomplish any of the things I had planned – none of the laundry, the sheets still aren’t on the bed after being washed, the place is generally a mess – but I at least got in a ten-minute workout. Well, sort of. I had to keep stopping so that I could give Ethan his pacifier. I swear, that kid just does not get the concept of “keep pacifier in mouth” yet. He spits it out, waits a beat, and then freaks out. I know he’s a genius and all so we can’t expect him to be able to keep track of everything, but still.

In other news, I’ve continued exercising and though it has only been a few days, I’m feeling pretty confident that I can keep this up. I am only exercising between 10-20 minutes per day, mainly because that’s all I can spare the energy for right now and because Ethan’s schedule is still a little lopsided. I think once I feel a little stronger, I’ll take Ethan with me to our apartment complex’s workout room. He can nap and I can jog! I’m hoping to do the Color Run in September, which is a 5K. I have never run when it wasn’t required by public school, so this is quite an unusual endeavor for me. I figure if anything could convince me to run in a legitimate race, it’s the prospect of being covered in multi-colored powder by the end of it.

Setting a goal like that, silly though it may sound, has made me feel a little better in the face of my anxiety. I think it’s because looking forward to something helps me remember that right now is just that – it’s right now, and it will pass. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true, and it does help. We’re also planning to go to visit my dad in about a month, which I’m really excited about…a few days at the beach should put me right. Especially if I manage to squeeze into the two-piece I bought last year!

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What a day, what a day.

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Whew.

It has been a day.

Ethan decided that having an epic diaper at Barnes and Noble and screaming for two straight hours was just what the doctor ordered. Hudson decided that taking off running while I am in the middle of changing said diaper (which means I abandoned all my stuff to chase him down) was the most fun thing he could possibly do. My muscles decided that it’s completely acceptable to feel like someone took pliers and wrenched them in every which direction as I slept. Max decided that it would be funny to point out that I still have a belly, even though there’s no baby in there.

Okay. I’m overreacting. I know that. Ethan’s a baby. Poop happens, as do crying fits, and he doesn’t have lengthy ones all that often. I should could myself lucky. Hudson’s four and he was in his version of Wonderland – he loves Barnes and Noble and you basically have to bribe him to get him to leave – so of course I couldn’t expect him to wait patiently while I changed a diaper. That’s boring. Trains are way more fun. And durrr, of course my muscles are killing me. I haven’t used them in months. It’ll clear up. Max is six. And funny. And he didn’t mean it in a hurtful way at all, he was just pointing out something that is completely true.

All that said, I still need a bit of a break tonight. It was a pretty overwhelming day – I don’t think I sat still for more than ten minutes at a time. I ate my lunch while walking from room to room with a crying baby on my shoulder. It wasn’t really that any one thing pushed me too hard – it’s just the accumulation of it all. I think if one of the four things I whined about hadn’t happened, I’d be just fine. As it stands, right now all I want to do is take a ridiculously long, hot shower, eat some spaghetti and meatballs, and drink a beer. Ethan is finally napping for real, and I want to take advantage of adulthood while I can!

Moms and dads who read this: how do you handle days like this, where it just feels like one thing after another?

I will say this…looking at this face sure helps:

Ow. Ow. OW.

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I’m so out of shape. 

To the point where it’s kind of pathetic. 

Okay, yes, I did just have a baby not quite two months ago. Yes, it was a C-section so I wasn’t technically allowed to do any exercise until now. Yes, I was on bed rest for most of the end stages of my pregnancy. 

What’s your point?

I know I’m being too hard on myself, but the fact that a few reps of crunches and tricep dips have nearly incapacitated me is a little bit sad. A bunch of the girls in my Facebump group are all taking part in a 30-day challenge to try and jump-start our post-baby diets, so some of us hopped on Bodyrock to do the beginner’s fitness test. I did it yesterday…and boy, was that harder than I was expecting. Halfway through the second set, I was wheezing and sweating and shaking. I felt terrible…how could I have let myself go so much? I feel like I could have been doing more to stay in shape. At least walking a little more or doing a few yoga poses, for crying out loud. 

So thus begins the long and difficult road to putting my body back together. I’m down to 147 lbs (from 175 on the day of Ethan’s birth), and I’m hoping to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight of 120. More than the number, though, I want to finally get my body toned. I’ve never had the tone or muscle mass that I’ve hoped for, and I know that it’s possible. I don’t want to look like the Bodyrock chick (though her body is, admittedly, pretty bangin’). I just want to be leaner and flatter than I am now. The ultimate goal, though? To wear a two-piece bathing suit for the first time in my adult life. 

I know. That’s lame. But I’ve just plain never had the confidence to wear a bikini. This year, though, will be my year. Stretch marks and all. 

And no, I’m not going to end this post with that quote about how stretch marks are tiger stripes. Because we’ve all seen it floating around on Pinterest and I’m not bothered enough by my stretch marks to care. My Frankenmommy tummy, however…yeah. That has to go.